23 Jun 2012
My strategy, of course last minutes study. This strategy has been used since the beginning of my study and it seems well although it was not produce spectacular result. Just average result that bring me to where I'm now.
During my high school years, I can't remember that much but I still remember when I took my SPM where the next day is Add Math which is the killer subject and to be honest, I never passed any tests at all. In fact me and my friend comparing which one of us can get the lowest mark. I just remember before I begin to study I just said whatever happened, happened because there is nothing I can do at that point. Surprisingly, I did understand about the subject more better than the two years of study in class. So, it does said learning by oneself is better than being taught wink wink!
During my university years, I've got group study but mostly we discussed on current event and not studying. So I tried to study in library, it is no use also because I will browse through the magazine section where they have a tons of "Readers Digest" compilation from the year of 1990 to 2000ish which I manage somehow to read them all. So, I just taught I need some place without any distraction which is in the empty classroom, alone.
Well, nowadays, it is quite to study as my room is my distraction. I've got TV, internet and not to mention bed. Then suddenly without any particular reason (actually putting off to study attitude) I will clean my room, do my laundry or even re-organize my CDs which I will never do when I have free time. That is why sometimes, I do go out in KL Sentral and when to Coffee Bean and study there, but of course with a lot of budget for coffee and food, I can't just go there and it nothing, right? But the downside is I can't go washroom wherever I like and have to behave where study in my room will give all the things that I want except for focusing in study.
Sometimes, I just wonder what do I get myself into and then I realized previously in school and university, I studied for my family and this time around, I study for myself. So, wish me luck next Wednesday and next Tuesday the other week and see, I'm supposed to study but I'm blogging. When will I ever learn?
16 Jun 2012
From the journal, I found out that there are many reasons why people like to self inflict themselves:
1. Some because they wanted to punish themselves and that they simply like punishment. Punishments increase negative emotion and make a behavior less likely to occur in the future. Thus, self-punishment may motivate some of these people, but self-punishment cannot be the reason to reduces bad feelings. For example, if somebody killed somebody in car wreck unintentionally, they will feel bad and torturing they mind with the scene over and over again hoping they can change the situation.
2. It lasted more than 12 minutes because they need attention. Be honest, sometimes we want the attention from our friends, families and especially our special someone. We wanted them to know that we are hurt by them or someone else and we want to feel their love. That is why sometimes we try to find love in the wrong place and wrong person.
3. We tend to worry a lot and think of what other people think of us. For example, sometimes someone we loves stop talking to us and we tend to think negative, whether they mad at us or perhaps they keeping secrets. Then comes the negative thoughts whether they cheating us with somebody, then comes angry, low self esteem that we inflicted by ourselves. They might be mad because of other things, not us perhaps because of Euro 2012?
For me, because of my high imagination, I tend to have a lot of unnecessary self inflicted hehe. So, from now on for petty things,I only will allow myself to have bad mood for 12 minutes, 20 minutes top as I think as seriously when you have bad mood, the energy drained fast, seriously! So what should I do to cheer-up myself? Other than reading surah Al-Insyirah over and over again, sometimes I will go to Youtube watch funny videos from bloopers of How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory or 1D videos such as Megamind and Spin the Harry. Louis Tomlinson is sooo funny. I also love to feel good movie such as Blindside and Tangled. Sometimes, I will go to my favourite restaurant to enjoy my favourite meals.
So, of course to let go our feeling is not easy, I still have some feeling that I can let go, but that is old issue but for new issue, I will learn to let go before it consumes me. It is not worth it to that to that to yourself because it could not be about you at all.
P/S: I've got of visits from international visitors nowadays perhaps because there are a lot Directioners out there. Please says hi to me and I will be sure to say back!
10 Jun 2012
Regarding the title for today, well, after 8 years working in Pusat Bandar Damansara, now my office has moved to Ampang, yes the most crowded and blackberry, strawberry traffic jam of Malaysia. For the first week, I decided to take LRT to work, which only 5 minutes from my new office and the first change that I have to do is to get early. Usually, after subuh, I will go back to sleep and wake-up again at 7.30am and went to previous office around 8.20am. Well now, at least I need to go out around 7.15am, if I decided to drive and 7.40am by LRT.
It took most of us a little time to adjusted to the time as well the new surrounding. I know I did complain a lot about the new arrangement but in the end, whether to accepted or not. You see we have this Japanese style work station, with no barricade or partition at all. Just us sit there face to face. Even if I need to pick my nose, the person in front of me will be disgusted haha. A person like me who have a lot of stuff, to go to empty table everyday quit challenging. I have 3 boxes of my packed stuff from previous office still in my car. We have our own individual locker which remind me of my school days in boarding school. Most of my time is spend my go back and forth to my locker to get things because we can't put anything on the table, except for laptops, and we can change our places because it was not fix. I like my current place because it is near to my locker, at least.
Although I have to admit that my new office has spectacular view, yes we can see KLCC which is one LRT station away form the new office. In other part of the level ( we took the whole level) we can see the next door condo's swimming pool. The food court also not bad and it is cheaper than previous place. Opposite of our office is the big shopping arcade with a lot of restaurants, and San Francisco is still downstairs.
When the first time I found out that we are going to move, I was not sure whether I'm happy or not. When I Google out the building has a lot potential of meeting new people, seriously, got famous international companies and famous certain oil and gas company. We even joke perhaps we need to change entire wardrobe to be more sophisticated like getting Coach bag or something because the place is quite elite. But after work there for almost a week, still have not found "the potential candidate" (maybe they hiding) and it just like a normal people working in a building. We hype for nothing.
Of course we will always have resistant to new things, who wouldn't? We have to wake-up early and to go through traffic jam (the horror) in the morning and in the evening. From cubicle to 'not so privacy' workstation and from biggest pantry ever to the smallest one you can see. We already used to the previous place before and adjustment doesn't comes easy. What we can do is to embrace a little step by the time. Now my favourite thing to get breakfast in the food court with my colleagues as I never do that before previously. Now, as I come early, I got the time to do that.
In our live, is true the only changes is the constant as we grow up from child to adult and from playing to working live. All we have to do is just to take it or leave it. That simple!
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