24 Oct 2010

My life is too short for "what if"

That's it. I'm tired to living my life with "what if" it is time consuming and wearing my energy. I just want to live my life the way I like. No more "when I'm going to get married?" "What if I'm not married?". I'm sure there must be a good reason why I'm not married yet, perhaps I will getting the best like they said, "good things happen for those who waits".

 I just will leave my life freely from now on. Like I said I'm going to Europe next year, but there is slight of detour, the Europe plan is still on but postpone to 2012. I'm still going travel next year, starting with KK (yeah again) but this time not for business just to really embrace the islands and people in Kota Belud. Well plan RM 200 e-voucher from Air Asia.

April to Padang, again, Indonesia is the cheapest ticket we could find so why not? that is the for fist half of the year and there will be another two trips, I'm planning...destination? to be confirmed hehe.

2012 another big trip and perhaps I really to save budget for it and it will be the most important trip ever. Wow finally I have plan more than 6 months.

More travel plans to come and wow after watching The Amazing Race, Kurina in Sweden looks like very interesting place to visit.

13 Oct 2010

Why do people fall in love?

Just read Christina Aguilera, Courtney Cox and even my friends fell out of love. Why some people can fall in love and then fall out of love? Why? where all the love go? Sometime lovers can be bitter enemies can can destroy people around them. Their children, families and friends... There are a number of reasons why people fall in love. Some people fall in love for the right reasons. Others do it out of lack of confidence. They do not want to be alone, which is not a good enough reason. 
1. Right reasons
Here, people fall in love because they want to offer someone something good that they have. They want to be with someone not as to depend on him or her but to share their life with them. They have something good to offer and they want something good in return. They want to spend time with someone not because they are scared to be alone but because they enjoy the other person’s company. They are not in the relationship with closed eyes but open eyes. They can see all; the good and bad happening, and they are ignoring the bad because they are scared to be alone, or because they feel embarrassed that it’s happening to them.
Being in love is about giving and receiving what is good. Please, underline the word good. Most people miss this point. A lot of people love the idea of being in love but not the actual fact. If many people understand the real reason of being in love and what being in love is, there would be less divorce, heartbreaks, suicides, violence and anything else that is related to bad breakups or bad relationships.
How can you tell someone you love him or her when you cheating on him or her. How can you tell someone that you love him or her when you can’t even stand the way him or her treats you.
How can you say that you are in love when you always fight? How can you say that you are in love when you don’t have the same goals? He wants to have children and you don’t to have children. The relationship is doomed from the start. You are only together because you don’t want to be alone. You love the idea of being in love but you are not actually living it. You can’t be in love if you are not in love.
The other reason why people fall in love is because people like to be treated nicely. They like to live in a good environment and be with people who know and understand them. In essence love does fulfill this. You can get this kind of environment from your family or friends or strangers but it is not within a time frame. It can end anytime and also family, friends and strangers won’t always have time for you. They have their own lives to live. So as much as they love you, they can’t guarantee that they will always here for you.
A twenty-years old girl can fall in love with a sixty-years old man and vice versa. And it has happened in a lot of cases where people with a big age gap have fallen in love. Anyone can fall in love but not all do it for the right reasons.
2. Wrong reasons
There are a lot of people who fall in love for the wrong reasons and because of this, they can’t be in love. Being in love is a wonderful thing and some people just like the idea of it.
But in order to be in love, you have to be in love with someone. And this is where the trouble arises. Because some people love the idea of being in love so much, they end up falling in love with the first person that is a little bit nice to them. They don’t take their time to know the person. And even if the person shows signs of hurting them in the future, they ignore the signs. They are more concerned about being with someone, than being with someone who really loves and cares about them. It takes a long time to know a really good person but it only takes a short time to know a bad person. A good person is there but you just don’t notice because you are too busy looking everywhere else other than next to you. A bad person is at a far distance, all you have to do is look up and they will come over to you. A lot of people (girls especially) are scared of being alone. Thus they always end up falling for the wrong person because their logic mind is clouded with the desire to be with someone, anybody that shows interest in them. They don’t assess the person. All they care about is that he/she doesn’t come on to strongly. They don’t care about his looks, what he does for a living, his interests and future plans. We are constantly told not to worry about these things; looks, money etc. But if you are going to commit to someone, you will have to do so knowing how, the lack of or having these things will affect your relationship in the future. Most relationships end because people change their minds. For example, they hook up with someone without money and they don’t have money either. It seems good at first with all the love and sex but you have to survive as well. And so when the times get tough, they pull out of the relationship. They can’t handle having no money and this leads to them to do more worrying and struggling than loving and enjoying life.
In another case, someone would go out with a fairly unattractive person because they don’t want to be alone. They ignore the unattractiveness instead of accepting it. The relationship is good at first because of all the adrenaline of being with someone new and the sex offered. Thereafter, the adrenaline goes down and they are forced to look at the person and realize that they can’t handle their unattractiveness and start looking for a way out of the relationship. Any quarrel or opportunity to meet someone else is taken as a reason to breakup.
Most relationships are not over, on the day someone says it’s over, but weeks, months or years in advance. You were just looking for the perfect time to tell someone and also the embarrassment of not being able to honor your commitment, love puts you off from telling that person until you are discovered of cheating on them, or forced to, out of anger during an argument.
People also fall in love to show off. The love the idea of being in love so much and they don'’ want to be left out. They want everyone to see that they can be loved as well.
There are the ones who normally talk about their partner and how much they love them, all the time to their friends. There is a difference between being happy and showing off. To them it’s not just a matter of I have a wonderful partner but, see what he did for me, look at us, observe closely, keep watching, listen. The whole relationship is superficial. It’s a show mostly put up for their friends and anyone in close proximity. This is a relationship that doesn’t involve planning for the future, sharing ideas, growing together. But it’s more of being together for everyone to see that you are not alone.
A lot of young girls fall into this. A lot of young guys love to show off too.
People should realize that there is nothing wrong with being single because it gives you time to make yourself a better person for your partner.
A lot of time is spent and wasted looking for the right person instead of making yourself the right person. Instead of looking for Mr. Right, be Ms. Right, and Mr. Right will find you, and vice versa.
If you want something good, you should be willing to offer something good 
We live in a world where we spend a lot of time asking ‘what can you give me?’ rather than asking ‘what will I give you?’
Guess I'm not ready to give something to anyone else yet!

3 Oct 2010

Europe, here I come...

Yup, after much thinking I've decided to travel to Europe next year. I plan to go with Kelana Convoy (www.kelanaconvoy.uk) where I will take the Conquest Europe for 15 days probably in September.

I'm not sure this is a great idea or not as it involves a lot of money and need to apply leave which I'm don't have, both of them.

But I just though, I'm already in my 30s..no husband, no kids, and regrettably, no life. I do have social life, I love my friends and love to spend my time with my family but somehow I feel that it is time for me to do something for myself.

The first trigger would be when I saw the raya photos in local newspaper with the snow background and see how happy they were...it is still killing me after all this years...you see I have a dream to study overseas when I was young and thanks to my grade and financially, the dream become a dream. For over the years, I can't read or see the story of overseas student espcially in Majalah Remaja as I was full of envy...until now

The second trigger would be Disney movie "UP" where the dreams of the main character, Carl Fredriksen is fulfilling his and his late wife wish to go to Paradise Falls and they have the adventure spirits that never ends. They have save up money many times and when it comes for them to go his wife died and leave him bitterly. Although he finally he is able to have his own adventure when he is quite old but I've just thinking what if I can fulfilled my dreams to visit Europe? Of course if there something bad happen to me, I can't go. that's it. But what if I got married with somewhat who doesn't like to travel? What if he likes to travel but we didn't got to do it as we are so busy with our married life and kids...of course I would be so happy to be married and have kids, but I couldn't help to wondering whether my dream to travel the world (half of it) will come true.....

The third trigger would be when I saw one of my friends photos while she's travelling to Europe last month, the photo of windmills and tulips kinda killing me inside.

Of course it would be great if my friends has the same dream like me so that we can go together but since, they don't, I might have to go alone. One of my classmate said she would likes to go with me and I'm praying that her mother would let her be, so I can have a company, but I tried to brave myself if I have to go alone.

I do have some doubts as do I able to do this alone, and would my parents let me go, I have time to save money and the most important thing, do I have leave to be applied. I have rough calculations that I need to spend around 2 weeks leave, and that's mean that I could take any leave unless it was necessary.

Of course the other major thing that I need to do is to save up my money...some of my friends said that the budget RM8000 is too expensive, I do agree with them but if your heart into, you will find the way...meaning no new phone, I might start to home cook again and it is actually good for my diet...

I really hope that I can realise this dream as I need to move on, if not I will keep thinking when would it happen and someone told me the reason that I still haven't found the one yet because there is something holding me back, then I remember when I was young, I always said that I will travel around the world before getting married, maybe that is the hold up...who knows..

So, from now, I will try to realise this dream and pray that Air Asia will have sale soon and who knows perhaps i will meet my knight during this trip....cheerios!

Melbourne - The mountain, the sea and the city Part 2 -Brighton Bathing Boxes and Puffing Billy

Salam all, yep a little bit busy. In fact I have been working in outstation for one month now. So that is why slow updates. So let continue,...