Whatever-lahno: It's been a long time...

It has been a long time since I update my blog. Lost of interest is the main reason. So, just want to recap what happen in my life recently.

Previous months have been quite hectic and challenging but manage to complete something. For example last September went to Korea, even to Jeju Island, so off Korea from my travel list. Went to Japan, again for one week. Quite hectic and meaningful experience. I was accompanying my Instructor for Japan Conference presentation which I was co-presenter. Proud of myself. Went to visit a centre one of the best Instructor in Japan Mrs. Tabayashi, and sit on VIP table during KAO Dinner. Highlight of my life.

Last October, I've become an aunt. At first I'm not sure what to address me, I don't want mak long because I feel old, since my sister take "mama" why don't I become "Ibu" since an aunt is still a mother, right. Alyssa (pronounced Alicia) Nur Irdina is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. I've become those aunts that keep their niece/nephew photos in phone, and proudly shows to everyone how cute she is. I can't keep myself to buy her toys and now planning to buy her first book. Since she is the first grandchild for both families, she is going to be spoil by everyone, I'm sure.

My student life is the same and most stressed ever last semester. The subjects that I've thought can get A, got B- and subject that I though I'm going to get C got B+. I was so stressful last year that I thinking to flunk the subject but thanks to my personal advisor and a lot help from Allah that help me to go through it.

Year 2012 was started with a great change for me. I was transferred to another division and taking care outstation, which is my own hometown. I was actually "redha" in my previous division to take care only local centre but Allah has mysterious way and here I am in another division. At first I was nervous, because I am taking over the area that the previous staff has done a lot with it. It is hard to fill his shoes and his achievements. I was sad for him because I know how much work he has done and he is not able to feel and see it. But I promise myself, I would not take credit for his achievements and should be happy that he has set-up a good ground for me to continue his work.

I start 2012 with no resolution at all, nothing, nada, zero. Why? I just though maybe I need to be lay low this year. I feel that I just go with flow and see what's coming up. But after a while, it hit me perhaps I need some changes. Most of my activities revolve around my friends, if they don't want to do it, I can't do it too. They don't want to travel anymore and event go out like last time, for karaoke or bowling. It is hard to ask them out now. I understand, perhaps their priorities have changed or perhaps only with me. But I can't complain much because I can't force them to do something that they don't want to do anymore. So, I said to myself, why don't just I do it all the things that I want to do without waiting for them. Previously, I can watch movie by myself, why can't I do it now? I still can travel by myself and just go if I want to. I'm starting to feel some kind of feeling that now I have time, money and my youth ( I guess) Why don't I do the things that I want to do because I might not have the luxury to do it in case if I don't have all things I mentioned just now.

I just to accept the fact that I'm a lone ranger now. The more I accept it will becomes easy for me not to depend on others. I already started to go out every week by myself and sometimes it makes my tired for weekdays. The things I can do by myself like shopping and eating alone are becoming habit. I don't care anymore to tell waitress a seat for one and just eat there alone while playing with my tabby and took my own sweet time. I can go to bookshops and linger there as long as I want and perhaps go to Secret Recipe to eat deserts after long day at the mall.

I just think, who knows how long I have the time for myself now, because in case I ever meet someone and have children, or even, there is some unfortunate think happen to me, I think this is the time I will miss the most. So, I would like to enjoy it while I still have it!