Song that I feel right now....

Get It Right

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/glee-cast-lyrics/get-it-right-lyrics.html ]
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

There's gotta be more to life...

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

[Chorus]
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

[repeat chorus]

Than waiting on something other than this life day to day 
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....



I like this song and the video clip is superb...now I just wondering in my life waiting what will happen next. Is not I'm down or something but it just I'm living without knowing what happen next. I don't have a big plan and I can't see my self in the next 10 years and even in the next year.


Sometimes I feel like I am a floating seeds that just go wherever the wind blows me. Of course I am grateful for my life, I am grateful for my family, I mean I'm going to be an aunty soon. I have great friends although they are not understand me at all, I have a room (rented) that cover me from rain and sun, I have car, my lovely chikita that is integral for my work and bring me anyway I want. 

I've got job that nowadays kinda stressing but still can cope and I do need to work to live, and basically I have no complain in my life it just I feel I'm missing something...perhaps many people would say about love, marriage and baby but how would I missing something that I don't have from the beginning?


Sometimes I just wondered when do my life begins? after I got married? having kids?grandchildren? Do I have to do like "Eat, Pray, Love" to find myself? would i able to let go?


I am thinking that I need to do something different for my life, when I was chatting in travelling forum, I was complaining because there is nobody want to travel with me next year and one of forumer suggested I went travel solo, at first I was opposed of the idea and then when I think back, why not? I could learn something about myself and it is different from what I'm doing now..


I'm just babbling and feeling like tired of doing the same thing again and again. So the first step I'm going to do is to change the theme for this blog...and to coming out with more challenging activities...just wait! By the way enjoy some motivational quotes that help me to summerize my feelings!

31 years old

I'm 31 years old and one day today, how do I feel? Nothing changed just add "1" to 30 only. Still not accomplished what I want to accomplish and still single. Not feeling as loser though as I have many things to thank for in my life.

My life is still not as stable as before, with additional workload and trying to grab everything in short time, I feel like a pile of garbage was thrown on me and I'm trying the best way to find my way into "the light". Sometimes I feel can I do this? and why should I do this?

It's not that I'm complaining but I do feel that I can't breath sometimes..and keep reminding myself that I can do this and be patient. I'm trying to focus on positive things and trying to hope that I still can achieve my dreams and to explore what is my capability and why am I here.

I just live my life one day at the time as I refuse to think about the future, actually I am afraid to think about my future because the ability not knowing it scares me a lot.

I just know that Allah has His plan for me and with all my heart I believe in Him.

My way of saying goodbye to 2011...

Enjoy....

I will miss you, Sabah

It is been a while since I wrote the blog. With all the drama and re-organization in the office, it did takes some time to recover. Well, it is true, I'm no longer will be taking care of Sabah. I'm only took care of them for one year but it is wonderful year.

The thing that I'm going to miss are:

a) The flight - seriously I like taking flight although it is quite taxing sometimes and of course I lie window seat although for some reason it is always blocked by the wing, like you can't see anything down there.I like MAS's nasi lemak and if you taking the connection flight to Japan or KL, will get extra special Ferraro Roche and fruit cake.  I also will miss collecting points for my Enrich.

b) The cities - for me Sandakan is a very quite city and the people there quite modest. KK is more vibrant and full of energy. It is interesting to appreciate the cities as they were and will love to go Sandakan again. (Already got ticket to go to KK again next March)

c) The food - Food glorious food. Sandakan has the cheapest seafood so far and KK not bad. My instructors would say that there is the different taste between Sandakan and KK as the comes ap from different sea, Sulu and South China Sea, to tell the truth, I have not been able to differentiate it at all. Have tried Ocean King Seafood and Kampung Buli Sim-Sim in Sandakan as well as Kampung Salut Seafood in KK. Cheap and tasty.

d) The people- Of course, how not to love the people. I kind like their dialect with "bah" and quite strong pronounciation for letter"R". I can see a lot kind of people and a lot of big cars...I mean really big cars. It is fascinating to see how people live in different area. When I went to Kampung Buli Sim-Sim in Sandakan, on the way to the restaurant, you can see people's house I mean literally when you walked in the small pave, you can see people cooking or just watching television in their living room, (is not like I'm peeping though). All the instructors are great and passionate about their students. I also makes friend with one of the seller in Filipino market, of course got great discount of brooch and bracelets.

e) Filipino Market & surrounding area-  I think it is the place although it is quite scary first. I like to shop for bracelets and brooch, go to the Pasar Masin (of course for my mom and aunties) although my bag will smell like ikan masin after that. The place is near sea and you can see the boats coming up and down from Gaya island as well as fishing boats near the jetty. Jalan coastal is one of beautiful road along the sea and the scenery during sunset is breathtaking.

One of memorable moments from my Sabah trips would be during puasa month where I buka puasa earlier than anyone else as well as bersahur with cold rice and sotong bakar in 3.30 in the morning in hotel room. Then with Sunny and Shell went to Kampung Salut for my first trip with blinking fuel indicator of Viva where with no pump station around, quite scary.
Another one would be my rented car got hit in my second visit to KK as well as learning how to drive auto car for the first time (thanks Boss).

I think I really will miss Sabah and already plan to go to KK again this March for Kota Belud and Islands....

MH 51 to KK

Kampung Buli Sim Sim

The view from hotel room

Fishing boats near Pasar at Sinsuran

One of my favourite photos

Near Jalan Coastal, my favourite photo

Bandar Sandakan, at once glance.

Scenery from the Hotel in 1Borneo

One of favourite restaurant in 1Borneo

Ya, I know, Charles and Keith at RM 15...near Plaza Warisan

Man vs Woman. Who is the cooking master?

                                VS

Ok, maybe I'm writing this while watching Cake Boss on Channel 707. So that is why it comes up. Seriously, the decoration of the cakes are to die for. Not sure about the the taste though. Nowadays I keep watching people making food such as Masterchef, my new "guilty pleasure" reality series.It is about normal people who loves to cook enter the program to see whether they are really good cook like their families, friends or even themselves claimed to be. The food that they cooked will judged by 3 professional judges where one of them is the ever "Hell Kitchen guru" Gordon Ramsay. Everyone from homemaker to construction worker try to cook for the judges.

What impressed me most is how guys taking the competition seriously. I mean there is a guy, literally cried and begging the judges to be pick-up for the next round. Guy literally cried. A construction worker with hardcore tattoo and riding Hurley and could knocked off somebody with just one hand, could cut the tiny carrots and manage to put reddish so particularly on the dishes, I mean that...he got me thinking so is it guys cooked better than us girls? Well a lot to debate off. I know two of my guy friends loves to cook and one at least can "tumbuk sambal belacan".

Overall, I would think that yes, man is a good cook, however I do find them usually practice their skills in the hotels or restaurants. And usually they don't like to cook at home. Those that do cook, often so because they like doing it and tend to be good at what they are doing. Those who can't cook tend to live of takeout and microwave meals, mama or "mamak" when single. Then, tend to rely on their partner when in a relationship. That is why some men would put "pandai masak" as one of the criteria to find wife.

I think it is more common that women learn to cook because of need or the different in gender bringing. I think for woman, cooking means love. You cook for your family and your partner because you love them and you love to do it (or sometimes even if you don't like to cook) .You will feel hurt if there is nobody to eat you food after slaving in the kitchen for one day and even hurt if they criticized your food and worse if they like other women food. Other women do cook maybe because they like to cook or they like to feed people (like me) and sometimes they don't want to cook because of lazy(like me) or when they cook, they will face more critics or harsh comments compared to man who do cook. Imagine as a women you are expected to be mastery in cooking and will facing a master such as your mom and even worst, your in-laws. Yeah you get what I mean. THAT in-LAW

Overall, cooking is just part of our life and  part of art. There are so much to master in cooking business and it will never end. For me food and cooking what makes the world go round!

What a week...

Seriously, seriously, I need to study CSC 208 but I can bring myself to pick up the notes...too lazy but I guess it has to do with this week, what a week even thought it doesn't end yet...

I've already prepared 3 proposals, one evaluation on top of that centre visit reports...a long and overdue reports (hope my boss doesn't read this) plus final exam and my sister's wedding . Thank God I only took 2 papers with exam. So, just to make it clearly I would declare this is one of busiest month of my life.

On Tuesday, I forgot to bring laptop to office, then had to go to home and pick-up seriously when you are busy you also becomes forgetful.

Another sad news are I already maximize my leave day, all gone and need to be working on weekends to get OIL and as for relaxing massage, I'm kinda save money for travelling next year.

Some of my friends did ask why don't I buy a house or change my car? Honestly, I never really think about it. Like in my previous post, I just want to travel, that is what I like to do, I mean some people spend their money to buy the latest gadgets, change car, or follow the trends of designer clothes and decorate their house with Ikea stuff like to but for me, at least for now,  I love to collect experience, to see how other people lives and of course to capture the image so that I won't forget it.

So, so next year would be a busy year for me, to travel and to live my life stress free. After that, who knows I buy a house and decorate it with Ikea stuff or settle down!